When I started writing this blog, I never intended to tell a sad story. Awkward, yes. Disappointing, at times. Uncomfortable, absolutely. But my story is not a sad story. I have lived, and continue to live a very happy life where I am loved and accepted by friends and family.
I wanted to share my stories, not to make people feel guilty, but create a bit more understanding. So cisgendered people could not only hear about a trans persons lived experience, but so they could relate. When people talk to me about my stories, they share how the speak to their own experiences and understandings of the world.
This is how people connect. It is how we bond. It is how we survive. It is much easier to hate someone when you feel like they are something other than what you are. This is the bread and butter of discrimination. My story is one of finding that connection within myself, and with the people around me. My story is not one of hate. Not like many other trans people’s stories.
Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. It is the day we remember the people that have been murdered as a result of transphobia and recognise the ongoing violence transgender people face. For me in my safe little bubble, where my interactions are about making spaces feel more inclusive and welcoming for trans people, the idea that someone would murder me because of my identity seems far off. It is not so distant that the threat is unreal, but it is not something I worry about when I leave the house. Not like many other trans people who face violence and the threat of death on a daily basis because of their identity. Today I remember them and those that have lost their lives as a result of this hate and honor their bravery and strength.
Fighting transphobia takes bravery on a lot of people’s part. Hate doesn’t exist in a vacuum that gets sucked from a perpetrator and forced directly into the face of a victim. People surround these circumstances. They allow them to take place. They perpetuate it. They do this by not calling people out. By not taking the time to learn what respect means for other people, not just according to their own standards. By being dictated by what has happened in the past, instead of how it can be better in the future. By accepting bad behavior as someone else's responsibility. By not being accountable for their own actions. This breeds hate. We can’t be bystanders anymore.
Image credit: Zoe Belle Gender Collective. Trans owned and operated organisation that provides training and resources to support trans inclusive services. Go to zbcg.org.au
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